Vino Exploration Gifts

'A Merlot? A Cab? If I had known there would be this many red wines, when I created the Earth, I would have made it smaller.'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

'Okay, so you were right; maybe figuring 13 bottles of wine per person was a little too much.'

Wine taster with mineral water

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

'Just as I suspected, guys - looks like we'be got ourselves an undercover wine drinker.'

'It looks like blood, tastes like Ribena, I just hope it gets me drunk,'

'I think we're all safe now. Go ahead and say spatlese.'

Wine: New & Old!!!

'Ahh, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it.'

"What wine goes well with £5.52p?"

Drinking wine has never been a spectator sport.

'All your wines are so old. Don't you have any that are fresh?'

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

'He's giving us a final request? Ask for a glass of Beaujolais Nouveau - that'll give us till November.'

Blue wine

'I failed my wine appreciation class. I swirled, sniffed and spilled out every sample perfectly. If only I had remembered to taste them.'

'I see we'll be sampling the wines of New Jersey this evening.'

'We let 65 people try the '03 Malbec and told them they couldn't just describe it as 'good'. The result: 65 said it was 'very good'.'