Wine Explorer Gifts

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

Red Wine, White Wine and The One In The Middle.

"No thanks Bruce, I tried it once but I didn't like it."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"I mixed the California wine with the New York wine for a truly American experience."

"Can you recommend a wine that tastes like a good beer?"

'Five minutes to pick a wine? It took me 6 months to read War and Peace, and that was 100 pages shorter than this.'

'Personally, I'd prefer something punchier.'

'I'll have red wine mixed with iced tea - you know, an Arnold Bomber.'

Best wines book

'Doing fine, thanks. I've narrowed it down to one of these.'

'The man at the wine shop said this wine was made without any harmful chemicals, so I added them myself.'

"What wine goes well with £5.52p?"

"You were right there was a Blue Nun at the back of the fridge!"

"Can you recommend a wine that tastes like a good beer?"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

'A cheeky red?'

Bacchus.

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Sauvignon Bonk

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

Low-Energy Drinks

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."