Budget Wine Explorer Gifts

"What wine goes well with 'broke'?"

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

Wine: New & Old!!!

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

'I think we're all safe now. Go ahead and say spatlese.'

'Ahh, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it.'

"What wine goes well with £5.52p?"

'To save money, Bob started making his own wine. This Chablis, for example, only cost him $329 a bottle.'

Blue wine

'He's giving us a final request? Ask for a glass of Beaujolais Nouveau - that'll give us till November.'

'I failed my wine appreciation class. I swirled, sniffed and spilled out every sample perfectly. If only I had remembered to taste them.'

'I'm impressed at your choice sir, you certainly know your budget wines.'

'Really, a foreign wine? What will the NSA think?'

A janitor stomps on, mops up and bottles some grapes to make "Truly Affordable Beaujolais".

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

"I'm enrolled in a total immersion wine class."

'I started this vineyard 20 years ago, with absolutely nothing, and today I can proudly say I don't have less.'

"I want a wine that's wise but unassuming, and not ashamed of a screw on cap."

'I can take your full-bottle order - he only handles splits.'

"Can you recommend a wine that tastes like a good beer?"

'Your House Wines seem rather pricey - d'you have any Bungalow Wines?'

'Frank makes it himself; it's the perfect wine--to serve with haggis.'

'No wonder they call themselves Miracle Vineyards. The label says this red is 50 Merlot, 50 Cabernet and 50 Sangiovese.'

Sommelier Life: ". . .I'll have the first three in the same glass. . . thanks pal!"

'A Merlot? A Cab? If I had known there would be this many red wines, when I created the Earth, I would have made it smaller.'

'Ask for a glass from the largest bottle. You'll get more that way.'

Best wines book