Budget Wine Shopper Gifts

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

Wine: New & Old!!!

"Mister, I don't know if the glass is half full or half empty. It's 12 dollars."

'To save money, Bob started making his own wine. This Chablis, for example, only cost him $329 a bottle.'

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

A janitor stomps on, mops up and bottles some grapes to make "Truly Affordable Beaujolais".

'I'm impressed at your choice sir, you certainly know your budget wines.'

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

Affordable housing

6-7pm: 'Money can't buy happiness' hour.

'Really, a foreign wine? What will the NSA think?'

Low income vampires.

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

"The great is $54.99, and I do have a near-great for $23.99."

Dad she's fallen into the cereal again!

"I want a wine that's wise but unassuming, and not ashamed of a screw on cap."

"What wine goes well with 'broke'?"

"Our goal is to make prices so low that even our employees could shop here."

'Your House Wines seem rather pricey - d'you have any Bungalow Wines?'

'Ask for a glass from the largest bottle. You'll get more that way.'

One upside-down tomato planter. I can't wait for juicy, free tomatoes. It's $23.37 with tax. Not bad for homegrown tomahtas. Plus $8 for potting soil, $15 for the hanger, $11 for organic fertilizer, $16 � Hey! � Where are you going? To the "Pick and Save" market.

Good vision? Save Money - Tiny Type Books.

"I prefer the cheap stuff."

'No wonder they call themselves Miracle Vineyards. The label says this red is 50 Merlot, 50 Cabernet and 50 Sangiovese.'

'I like my wine the way I like my prescriptions - generic.'

Organic or Toxic - It depends what you can afford.

'Joyce, remember those cheap bulbs you bought?'

"Nope, still can't afford to buy it."

I'll wait here. What do you want in a mattress? On that helps me fall asleep fast. Then this is your bed. Only $1,250. For a few hundred bucks more, this super sleeper is great. Comfy. How about that one. It's the $400 econo brand. I figured. ZZZZ.

Mmmm... Eminently palatable yet slightly robust. And no corkage fee!

Woman looking at "Get Well" cards which have been divided into two sections: "Insured" and "Uninsured".

"Your meat is too expensive. Aren't you passing your 'free range' savings onto the customer?"