Budget Wine Shopper Pillows

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

Wine: New & Old!!!

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

"Mister, I don't know if the glass is half full or half empty. It's 12 dollars."

'To save money, Bob started making his own wine. This Chablis, for example, only cost him $329 a bottle.'

Affordable housing

'Really, a foreign wine? What will the NSA think?'

A janitor stomps on, mops up and bottles some grapes to make "Truly Affordable Beaujolais".

6-7pm: 'Money can't buy happiness' hour.

Low income vampires.

'I'm impressed at your choice sir, you certainly know your budget wines.'

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

"The great is $54.99, and I do have a near-great for $23.99."

"What wine goes well with 'broke'?"

Dad she's fallen into the cereal again!

"I want a wine that's wise but unassuming, and not ashamed of a screw on cap."

"Our goal is to make prices so low that even our employees could shop here."

'Your House Wines seem rather pricey - d'you have any Bungalow Wines?'

'I like my wine the way I like my prescriptions - generic.'

'Ask for a glass from the largest bottle. You'll get more that way.'

"I prefer the cheap stuff."

'No wonder they call themselves Miracle Vineyards. The label says this red is 50 Merlot, 50 Cabernet and 50 Sangiovese.'

Good vision? Save Money - Tiny Type Books.

Organic or Toxic - It depends what you can afford.

"Your meat is too expensive. Aren't you passing your 'free range' savings onto the customer?"

Mmmm... Eminently palatable yet slightly robust. And no corkage fee!

'Joyce, remember those cheap bulbs you bought?'

'I'm on a fixed income, so these free offers are most welcome.'

Woman looking at "Get Well" cards which have been divided into two sections: "Insured" and "Uninsured".

"Nope, still can't afford to buy it."