Beverage Adventurer Gifts

Your usual ginseng pumpernickel ostrich-sweat latte? No thanks. I wanna try something different today. The pecan praline white chocolate mocha's also good. Ooh, that sounds good. I'll have one of those. Coming up. But can you substitute macadamia nut for the pecan? That'll take some work, but it's doable. Thank you. And can you substitute turkey tears for the praline? Turkey tears sound good. And can you substitute pureed bagel for the mocha? Pureed bagel sounds lovely. I see where this is going

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Low-Energy Drinks

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

'We get our draft straight from the brewery.'

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

Bottle Distillery

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Wine taster with mineral water

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

'Well,we had a good run.' - Worldwide Hops Shortage.

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."

What's your most popular drink? Why do you want to know? Why base your order on what other people are buying? Don't be a follower. Be your own man. If you're unfamiliar with a drink, ask what's in it and decide for yourself whether that sounds good. Or better yet, live a little. Take a risk. Choose a drink you've never had at random and see where it takes you. You only have one life. Don't live it following in the footsteps of other people. That's kind of harsh. No, it's the name of the drink.

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

Wine of the Day Club

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

"Don't feel bad. The rest of us can't hold our liquor either."

'I think we're all safe now. Go ahead and say spatlese.'

"Wow! I must be dreaming!"

"Oh yes,decidedly hoppy."

"Brandy, coffee, decaf, herb tea, or cran-apple?"

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

'Rotgut whiskey is much more festive served with a paper umbrella, don't you think?'

'And this is my dad. He's the wine critic for The Herald and he can drink your dads under the table.'

MAN OF THE YEAR, 'You must come here a lot.'

'Oi! '

"Your mom wants to buy you a drink."