Beverage Bistro Adventurer Gifts

'I can take your full-bottle order - he only handles splits.'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Low-Energy Drinks

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

'We get our draft straight from the brewery.'

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

Bottle Distillery

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

Wine taster with mineral water

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

Wine of the Day Club

The Stages of Coffee Addiction

"Wow! I must be dreaming!"

'I think we're all safe now. Go ahead and say spatlese.'

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

Roadkill Restaurant

"...And just what is wrong with deviled ham and deviled eggs?"

Arabian Cuisine

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiters attention."

'Yes, I'd like the chef pan-fried, marinated in his disgusting sauce and charcoal grilled.'

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."