Beverage Bistro Adventurer T-Shirts

'I can take your full-bottle order - he only handles splits.'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Low-Energy Drinks

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

'We get our draft straight from the brewery.'

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

Bottle Distillery

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

Wine taster with mineral water

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

Wine of the Day Club

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

What's your most popular drink? Why do you want to know? Why base your order on what other people are buying? Don't be a follower. Be your own man. If you're unfamiliar with a drink, ask what's in it and decide for yourself whether that sounds good. Or better yet, live a little. Take a risk. Choose a drink you've never had at random and see where it takes you. You only have one life. Don't live it following in the footsteps of other people. That's kind of harsh. No, it's the name of the drink.

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."

The Stages of Coffee Addiction

Roadkill Restaurant

"Wow! I must be dreaming!"

'I think we're all safe now. Go ahead and say spatlese.'

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

'Yes, I'd like the chef pan-fried, marinated in his disgusting sauce and charcoal grilled.'

"...And just what is wrong with deviled ham and deviled eggs?"

Arabian Cuisine

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiters attention."