Quirky Wine Seeker T-Shirts

'Wine for Left-Handed Women from North Phoenix, Who Wear Glasses and Like Cats? Sorry, we only have from South Phoenix.'

'A cheeky red?'

Wine Lady

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

At the mobile tracking test lab.

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

'I'm doing a wine tasting course, it's fascinating. . .'

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

'I think we're all safe now. Go ahead and say spatlese.'

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

Blue wine

'He's giving us a final request? Ask for a glass of Beaujolais Nouveau - that'll give us till November.'

'I failed my wine appreciation class. I swirled, sniffed and spilled out every sample perfectly. If only I had remembered to taste them.'

Home Wine Making Kit.

"I want a wine that's wise but unassuming, and not ashamed of a screw on cap."

'Sir has made the most discerning choice to wash it down with Drain Glug.'

'Gentlemen, tonight's special is broiled sea urchin, with raspberries, over candy corn, with a goat's milk sauce. I would suggest a wine to recommend with it, had I attended sommelier school in the Twilight Zone.'

'You said you wanted a book on how to enjoy wine. This is the only 'book' you need.'

'House red please.'

'I started this vineyard 20 years ago, with absolutely nothing, and today I can proudly say I don't have less.'

Advanced course at the Wine Appreciation Institute in my house.

Sommelier Life: ". . .I'll have the first three in the same glass. . . thanks pal!"

'So there I was, alone in the aisle, heart pounding, without a bloody clue as to what wine I should bring our hosts.'

'It's Thanksgiving.. do you have any CRANBERRY VODKA?'

"A cheeky little wine, would you agree?"

"I don't have candy, but I have bread and wine."

'Frank makes it himself; it's the perfect wine--to serve with haggis.'

"Ray says he serves his homemade wine this way for the presentation, but believe me, it's because it improves the taste."