Quirky Wine Seeker T-Shirts

'Wine for Left-Handed Women from North Phoenix, Who Wear Glasses and Like Cats? Sorry, we only have from South Phoenix.'

'A cheeky red?'

Wine Lady

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

At the mobile tracking test lab.

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

'I'm doing a wine tasting course, it's fascinating. . .'

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

'I think we're all safe now. Go ahead and say spatlese.'

Blue wine

'He's giving us a final request? Ask for a glass of Beaujolais Nouveau - that'll give us till November.'

'I failed my wine appreciation class. I swirled, sniffed and spilled out every sample perfectly. If only I had remembered to taste them.'

Home Wine Making Kit.

'Sir has made the most discerning choice to wash it down with Drain Glug.'

'I started this vineyard 20 years ago, with absolutely nothing, and today I can proudly say I don't have less.'

'Gentlemen, tonight's special is broiled sea urchin, with raspberries, over candy corn, with a goat's milk sauce. I would suggest a wine to recommend with it, had I attended sommelier school in the Twilight Zone.'

'House red please.'

"I want a wine that's wise but unassuming, and not ashamed of a screw on cap."

'You said you wanted a book on how to enjoy wine. This is the only 'book' you need.'

Advanced course at the Wine Appreciation Institute in my house.

"A cheeky little wine, would you agree?"

'So there I was, alone in the aisle, heart pounding, without a bloody clue as to what wine I should bring our hosts.'

Sommelier Life: ". . .I'll have the first three in the same glass. . . thanks pal!"

'It's Thanksgiving.. do you have any CRANBERRY VODKA?'

'Frank makes it himself; it's the perfect wine--to serve with haggis.'

"I don't have candy, but I have bread and wine."

"Ray says he serves his homemade wine this way for the presentation, but believe me, it's because it improves the taste."

Swine List