Red Wine Philosopher Gifts

"Which one had the health benefits in it?"

'A cheeky red?'

'You lifted your head.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'They say you have to drink 4 times as much merlot as pinot noir to get the same level of anti-oxidants. Isn't that just too, too bad?'

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

Redhead

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

Red Wine

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'You know, this is the 2nd bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

'Red for me, please.'

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'

'Ahh, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it.'

"Wine not?"

"So, Ben, what do you want to be when you stop sponging off your parents?"

"I find a good cabernet is the best way to put my money where my mouth is."

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

''Evening, Bob - the usual?'

Scariest Tactics

Claret

"Honestly, I came here to drink your blood, but this claret is positively delightful!"

'If I wrote you a prescription for red wine, I'll bet you wouldn't complain about having to take it five times a day.'

'The accountants can wait, Tell them I'm tied up in a meeting with representatives from Pomerol Pommard,'