Vino Philosopher Pillows

"If it's really his private reserve, what's it doing for sale?"

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

Wine glass face.

'You lifted your head.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

Redhead

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'Okay, so you were right; maybe figuring 13 bottles of wine per person was a little too much.'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

'In the interests of full disclosure, federal law now requires me to inform you that I own shares in the winery whose product I am serving this evening.'

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

Nouveau wine

'Just as I suspected, guys - looks like we'be got ourselves an undercover wine drinker.'

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

'Ahh, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it.'

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

"May we see something from local hydroponically grown grapes aged in casks made from non-endangered trees?"

Pizzas

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

'None for me, thanks. It might improve my mood.'

''Evening, Bob - the usual?'

'I see we'll be sampling the wines of New Jersey this evening.'

Scariest Tactics