Viewing Gifts

'When did we lose our targeted audience status?'

'It's like having our own private luxury box in the game of life.'

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"I AM at my usual position."

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'Slip Ahoy!'

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

Beer Order

Binge Watch

'Hey, hey, hey!'

"I know he's funny, boy, but he’s also the president of the United States."

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

nstead of looking at fish bowl, a kid watches the fish on TV as they are being video taped.

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

Bob liked getting involved - but not actively involved.

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

"Still judging people on stuff you could never do?"

Mr. Macho at the game... and after the game is over.

'...According to the survey, Canadians prefer the doggie style positions, so the can both keep watching the Hockey game...'

"It's like a tiny house, but bigger."

"In this piece, the price clearly does not reflect what the artist is trying to say."

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

"You see a haunted house, I see a house with good bones."