Watching Gifts

'Slip Ahoy!'

"You just watch him Ethel. He'll sit there and say nothing, just to annoy me."

Daredevil. No. But it's been months now. I wanna talk about it. Well, I haven't watched the last couple episodes yet. Blasphemy! You have one job as a modern American consumer of Netflixian entertainment: and that's to binge-watch every episode the day the series is released. Sorry, little buddy. Some of us have lives. What's that supposed to mean?! Careful what you say around seniors. You'd never be man enough to handle a good Price is Right marathon! You distract it while I make my escape.

"I didn't know you COULD finish Netflix."

'Cable out again?'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'Ha, ha! -- Made you look!'

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"They grow up so fast."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

Bowled over again!

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Television Readers.

'Einsteiners.'

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"He's no hat and all corgis."

Lazy Octopus

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

American Idle.

'There's nothing on.'

Love is when you watch television together.

Check your universal remote control at the door.