Watching Tv Gifts

Ostrich has head in sand to watch TV set

"Without cookie, me just monster."

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

Eleven/Millie Bobby Brown with face mask

"Have you given any thought to what you're going to do with your life after the Super Bowl?"

'I'm worried - he says he's having a 'staycation' for his gap year.'

'With so little free time, you have to learn to multi-task...'

Selective Hearing for Men (Wife/TV/Off)

The First 'Deadliest Catch' TV show was far less popular.

'I can't read but I have excellent tv viewing skills.'

Three Little Pigs,Easter Bunny, Father Christmas, Humpty Dumpty, a Leprechaun, The Tooth Fairy and a Mummy settle down to watch Reality TV.

"Whaddaya say we turn off the television, go upstairs, get into bed and turn on our computers?"

Newpaper reads: Cable Out - 1000s forced to read.

'Illiterate? Can't read? -- Just send for our free brochure....'

'No, Joyce, it's not over yet. ... And for the last time, I have no idea who's going to win - it's a seesaw battle.'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

'This unexpectedly concludes tonight's program -- the sponsor bailed out.'

"Hurry up with your investigation—he's lying on the remote."

'We talk, we dialog, we speak one to the other, but we don't communicate.'

Wake up love it's time to go to bed!

'In a surprise move today, everybody filed for bankruptcy.'

"We begin the day hammering. Then there's 'Regis and Kathie Lee.' Then we do some more hammering, followed by lunch and 'Days of Our Lives,' more hammering, 'Oprah,' and, finally, home."

Elephant in the Room

"All right, but just one more episode."

Warning: The following music video contains NO sex and violence.

'...recommended by 4 out of 5 quacks!'

"You've been watching too many of those CSI shows."

Make your resolutions achievable.

'That's it,Terry! Perfect.Just hold your head like that.'

'Why is it all repeats?'

Reality Factor (Eating worms, chicken thinks 'mmmm').

Print media strikes back.

'American, idle.'

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

'No Timmy, we're different from the animals. We have a purpose in life.'