Tv Watching Gifts

"He's an indoor cat."

Mail Order Moms

"Don't try to tell me this P.E. class! Get back to your homeschooling!"

"They do say results will vary."

"This report took me three months to put together - any questions?" "Yes - how long have you had that toupee?"

Hospital patient using his thermometer on the remote control.

Working from Home.

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

Steve always dreads the end of football season."

'Changing the channels is not part of sharing the housework.'

'What's this, your estimate or your telephone number?'

'Well it's obvious when we went through mitosis, the brain went to my side!'

'When did we lose our targeted audience status?'

Wife turns husband off with remote control.

The architecture was inspired by watching 'Grand Designs' on TV

A dog sits in an armchair with a bone-shaped remote.

'It's just so like you not to notice. For your information, I've been gluten-free for the past 24 minutes.'

Reality tv.

'Don't you ever get tired of reruns?'

'When you've seen one star you've seen them all, but every episode of Bargain Hunt is different.'

'He sprained his wrist inserting the exercise DVD.'

'...all been inspired by the Olympics...now touch those toes...touch those...'

"It feels like God has sent us all to our rooms to think about what we've done."

'Now that we're married, I thought I should be less selfish. Here, take the TV remote while I get a snack.'

"You know, I never really thought to ask - I just assumed he knows they can't hear him."

'Yeah, but I'm afraid that those in favor of teaching 'Intelligent Design' never met my husband.'

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

'You know the king on that burger commercial? I find him very disturbing.'

"We're TV pundits debating the issues."

Super Bowl Monday

"From now until October, he'll be quiet as a pussycat."

"Would you mind not interrupting? I'm trying to have a sensible conversation."

"This won best award show last year."

Sailor and mine

Sex, lies, leftover tuna casserole, and a videotape