Tv Watching Pillows

"He's an indoor cat."

Mail Order Moms

"Don't try to tell me this P.E. class! Get back to your homeschooling!"

"They do say results will vary."

"This report took me three months to put together - any questions?" "Yes - how long have you had that toupee?"

Working from Home.

Hospital patient using his thermometer on the remote control.

'Changing the channels is not part of sharing the housework.'

'Well it's obvious when we went through mitosis, the brain went to my side!'

Steve always dreads the end of football season."

'What's this, your estimate or your telephone number?'

'When did we lose our targeted audience status?'

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

'Don't you ever get tired of reruns?'

Wife turns husband off with remote control.

"You know, I never really thought to ask - I just assumed he knows they can't hear him."

'He sprained his wrist inserting the exercise DVD.'

'Now that we're married, I thought I should be less selfish. Here, take the TV remote while I get a snack.'

'It's just so like you not to notice. For your information, I've been gluten-free for the past 24 minutes.'

"It feels like God has sent us all to our rooms to think about what we've done."

'...all been inspired by the Olympics...now touch those toes...touch those...'

The architecture was inspired by watching 'Grand Designs' on TV

'Yeah, but I'm afraid that those in favor of teaching 'Intelligent Design' never met my husband.'

Reality tv.

Finally free of cable TV costs

'Of course I watch television-doesn't everyone?'

Sex, lies, leftover tuna casserole, and a videotape

"I wouldn't say he was a creature of habit - more of a creature with bad habits."

"From now until October, he'll be quiet as a pussycat."

Super Bowl Monday

"Should we have dinner now, or are you watching in real time?"

"If God wanted me to go to church he wouldn't have put football on Sundays."

'We interrupt this program for new pictures of Brad and Angelina's baby.'

"This won best award show last year."

'No, Jeffrey! It's a trick! - That's EDUCATIONAL TV!'