Tv Watcher Pillows

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

'Forgive you?...sure I'll forgive you...the moment I see something I really want on the shopping channel.'

'Honey, this personal injury lawyer says that if we act now, he'll also throw in a free slicer and dicer in its own carrying case.'

'I don't know what it is, dad. Something is causing an electrical interference.'

'The sword in the stone was just a warm-up - now you must remove this remote control ...'

'She's always like this when Wimbledon ends.'

"Relax - I saw a bear do this on TV."

"In light of the current situation, we've dispensed with the weather report."

"Timothy, if you never watch TV you'll never know what's going on in the world."

"It's ten o'clock. Do you know where you research is headed?"

It's a Dog's life

Television Baseball

'Och lye the news'

'Isn't that silly, Fluffy. The cowboy is talking to his horse.'

"So if you don't want to know the final score, look away from your TV screen now."

'And now for the light side of the news. My dog has fleas.'

Introspection

"Papi, did you know that Hispanic kids consume way more media than other kids?"

"Then we agree. 10 minutes of your news, then 10 minutes of mine."

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

"This one looks hot. Their big advertiser pulled out."

"The Monday movie will be back after the messages that follow the following messages."

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

"Baseball or Anthrax?"

"Would you get me another beer? I have the express written consent of major league baseball."

"Probably midges"

"I'm up for anything pre-apocalyptic."

"Still judging people on stuff you could never do?"

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"I watch this show just to get to the next one."

"I guess everyone wins a gray medal?"

The only 'hot button' issue around here is beer

'Please do not adjust your set -- I'm just a little hung over.'

"Oh, man! I have to watch this! This is so totally the most important baseball game in forever!"