Telly Viewer Pillows

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

Tree house.

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

TV-Man

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

Fishermen

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

Make your resolutions achievable.

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

'Och lye the news'

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

Binge Watch

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

Solar Panel

"I know he's funny, boy, but he’s also the president of the United States."

A Clown pretends to put his head in the mouth of a TV lion.

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

"Let's finish off our night of being productive by starting another season."

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

"He's an indoor cat."

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'