Television Viewer Pillows

'Cereal's not all that expensive -- why is everybody always trying to steal it?'

"Sooner or later you just knew it had to come to this. . ."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

Tree house.

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

Fishermen

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

Somewhere in America... the day after "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" came to an end.

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

'Och lye the news'

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

"The couch hates me Jane!"

"I know he's funny, boy, but he’s also the president of the United States."

Binge Watch

"He's an indoor cat."

'I caught him watching tv, surfing the net, and playing video games ..book him!'