Ventriloquist T-Shirts

"For the love of God, is there a doctor in the house?"

Lousy Ventriloquist Fears Return to Normal

'Oh great! Now I'll have that song stuck in my head all day.'

'And another thing - no more blurting out to the audience that I shorted IBM at fifty bucks.'

"You think he's your friend? He's in there right now ratting you out."

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"A little lower to the left. Ah, yes, that's it, right there."

Ventriloquist's dummy reads 'Computers for dummies'.

'I see the critics say I need a new partner.'

"...and so we bid farewell to one of our best loved theatrical agents..."

Ventriloquist throwing his/her voice to confuse someone knocking on his/her door.

"What? You're the one who told me to bring a friend."

"Do my lips move when you talk or vice versa?"

'I'm sorry, sir - you'll have to get somebody else as a guarantor.'

"Must you look at your phone when I'm talking to you?"

'Do you know your lips move when you text?'

"Mostly, I just miss his hand."

"I told you we should have had separate trials."

Kurt couldn't understand why the dummy light was on.

"If you didn't like your job, you should go into ventriloquism like your brother."

'I don't know what I'd have done all this time without you to talk to...!'

'Glease accept this undisguised donation.'

"Class, Gracie's great aunt Carmen is here to share some fun Latino folk tales!"

'How about letting me off the hook.'

'Actually, my Dad never learned to talk - My Mom's a ventriloquist.'

Ventriloquist.

'We come as a pair - we're applying for headship and assistant post.'

Puppet Audience

'When I said 'cough' I meant you, not him!'

Ventriloquist Audition

'A text? See, this is what I mean when I say 'We don't talk anymore.''

Bride with a ventriloquist's dummy.

"And so, by the ventriloquism powers vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife."

"Just once, can we not talk about politics."

"That was quite the blockage. Might I suggest incorporating a more lanky partner into yor routine."