Vehicle Maintenance Guru T-Shirts

Deflator mouse

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"Take me to your mechanic."

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Car wash / Mouth wash

'If you're not over-protective of your new SUV, then why on earth would you bring it way out here on our hunting trip?'

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

"Washing your car will cause it to rain – science or superstition? We investigate on the next 'Cause and Effect.'"

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

Man has applied car wax and sees the whole car melt in the sun.

Gas tank is holding up a customer for money 'Fill 'er up!'

'When last did you have your oil changed?'

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'