Car Care Guru T-Shirts

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

New Age Auto Repair

Kid about scratched up car to dad: 'I made a mistake washing the car with a brillo pad.'

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"Take me to your mechanic."

Deflator mouse

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Car wash / Mouth wash

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

Man has applied car wax and sees the whole car melt in the sun.

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

'Though we understand your feelings towards your automobile, we aren't able to approve your application to marry it.'

'HA! Your last chance 86 miles back.'

A 1950's Barber Shop

"Actually he only asked for a buff-up."

"It helps prevent side collisions."

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

QUICK OIL CHANGE & FLU SHOT

Bob's DIY Store

"Our smart car sent a text saying it went to the car wash to get all the winter salt off it. Did it also have to say because I was too lazy to do it?"

"Honest, Dad, somethin's wrong with the lawnmower." "You look fine to me. When you finish the lawn and pullin weeds feel free to wash the car and paint the house."

'Things are going from bad to worse in the auto industry.'

'I'm after a longer dipstick. This one doesn't reach the oil anymore.'

"Uh...not to be bossy, but I wouldn't do it that way."

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

"So that's how you fixed things before there was Duct tape."

"Gracie, just because you understand internal combustion engines...doesn't mean you can drive."

Influences.

"Thanks for helping us put up the shelf, 'Utility Belt Man'."

Holes in pots, cigars and the road.

'Now you do know she needs a bath every week and an oil change every 3000 miles?'