Car Guru T-Shirts

"Gracie, just because you understand internal combustion engines...doesn't mean you can drive."

Influences.

'Though we understand your feelings towards your automobile, we aren't able to approve your application to marry it.'

I'm announcing some changes.

'I can't play with you today. I have to show my owner how to change the oil in his BMW. It's a curse being a smart breed.'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

The Computer Bore

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Google car."

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

CEO with SEO

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Evolution.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

e-shoes

Mac OS 20

Walking Luggage.

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.