Autonomous Car Guru T-Shirts

"Are we there yet?! My tires are killing me!"

Drool Marks

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"Take me to your mechanic."

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Kid about scratched up car to dad: 'I made a mistake washing the car with a brillo pad.'

'Though we understand your feelings towards your automobile, we aren't able to approve your application to marry it.'

'HA! Your last chance 86 miles back.'

"At first I thought a full size spare was a good idea, but now..."

"I stole a smart car and it took me straight to the police department."

The hydrogen pill is just around the corner (floating car).

"The best thing about my promotion? I'll be in charge of the thermostat."

"I can't decide whether to run away or just get off the grid."

"Gracie, just because you understand internal combustion engines...doesn't mean you can drive."

Influences.

"I replaced the engine with an ecologically friendly fungus garden."

"How about a self-inflating-a-flat-tire car?"

New Age Auto Repair

"That rotten smell? That's my spoiler."

"I stole a smart car- it texted the police and picked me out in an identity parade."

How is it going with your voice-controlled, self-driving car? We aren't communicating very well. I said I "need to go fast" and it took me to a calorie-restricting diet center. It's very frustrating! Back there I shouldn't have added "This car is driving me up a wall."

'I can't play with you today. I have to show my owner how to change the oil in his BMW. It's a curse being a smart breed.'

Man riding bike over cars.

"These new self driving models are supposed to be much safer."

Will Self-Driving car

Driver Showdown

Some folk treat their smart car as if it were their home.

'And don't do that, or that, or that, or that, or that, or that...'

'It has very low emissions - it's impossible to find a garage selling the fuel.'

"Evans isn't here, sir. His self-driving car showed up without him."

"It's totally self-driving, but don't worry, we can program an appropriate level of road rage."

"These electric cars can be expensive."

"I cleaned out your wallet for you, but the engine is still running a little rough."

"Is there anything I should know before buying these?"