Car Care Nerd T-Shirts

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Car wash / Mouth wash

Man has applied car wax and sees the whole car melt in the sun.

"Washing your car will cause it to rain – science or superstition? We investigate on the next 'Cause and Effect.'"

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

'If you're not over-protective of your new SUV, then why on earth would you bring it way out here on our hunting trip?'

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

"Nap time."

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

'HA! Your last chance 86 miles back.'

"Actually he only asked for a buff-up."

A 1950's Barber Shop

Parts of an automobile

'Bad news, Dr. Treemont...It needs an engine transplant.'

"Honest, Dad, somethin's wrong with the lawnmower." "You look fine to me. When you finish the lawn and pullin weeds feel free to wash the car and paint the house."

'It's ok, sir, we'll put you in touch with one of our grief counselors.'