Car Care Nerd Gifts

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

"One more rinse and the inside of your car will be clean too, Dad."

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

"It took a lot of work to build this car..."

Kid about scratched up car to dad: 'I made a mistake washing the car with a brillo pad.'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Car wash / Mouth wash

'Whatever happened to 'Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.''

You were fixing cars in your sleep again.

Man has applied car wax and sees the whole car melt in the sun.

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

'If you're not over-protective of your new SUV, then why on earth would you bring it way out here on our hunting trip?'

"Washing your car will cause it to rain – science or superstition? We investigate on the next 'Cause and Effect.'"

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

"Nap time."

'HA! Your last chance 86 miles back.'

A 1950's Barber Shop

"Actually he only asked for a buff-up."

Parts of an automobile

22. Being tireless is good trait to have in most jobs, but not when you're working on a pit crew.

'Bad news, Dr. Treemont...It needs an engine transplant.'

A self-filling prophecy.