Car Care Aficionado Gifts

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

Snow Tire Sale: We Skid You Not

'I always wash it before applying the turtle wax.'

Man has applied car wax and sees the whole car melt in the sun.

"If the vineyard needs rain, why don't you get the truck washed?"

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

It's great for pulling the birds!

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

(I ride a harley, I drive a porsche, I smoke cigars, I drink martinis...) (So, ….You're impotent?)

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

"Nothing serious - just some twenties stuck in your crankshaft."

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Car wash / Mouth wash

"An object of love that you can get inside, totally inside."

"The good news is that a delicious stick of jerky is still a very affordable seventy-five cents."

The Lemmings of Montauk

"That's weird. The app says to look for a Nissan Sentra."

Carpet

Beware of Everything

The slug replaces the cheetah as the fastest animal on earth.

"Nap time."

Our Cars Are Made By 100% American-Made Robots.

Man playing chess from his parked car.

'HA! Your last chance 86 miles back.'

The sea of heartbreak.

A parking space for the Prof. of Reverse Engineering.

Le Mans 24 Hour Tiredness can kill, take a break ...