Vegetarian Virtuosos Gifts

Alice became the first person in history to be beatend to death with 'vegetarian turducken'."

Allotment

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

Queen of Quinoa

Give quiche a chance!

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

Frank & Ernie's Carrot, Beet, Potato Farm. Lunch break's over --- Shall we return to our roots?

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

Veggie Hall of Fame.

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

Rap-scallions

Onion Tears

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

Avocado Timeline

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

The Rabbit Meeting.

'Carrot salad, carrot casserole, carrot juice, carrot cake - I want steak!'

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

"Hey, this is just a bun!" "Help yourself to the mustard."

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

A sheep ordering in a restaurant - the sole item on the menu is grass.

Two vegetarians please.