Vegetarian Comedian Gifts

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"Two vegans, please."

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"Charles didn't like tofu."

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

Do-it-yourself sushi bar serves live fish to customer.

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

A sheep ordering in a restaurant - the sole item on the menu is grass.

Two vegetarians please.

Free salad bar.

"Which one on table three has gone for the vegetarian option?"

"Hey, this is just a bun!" "Help yourself to the mustard."

At home with the leeches: 'No, you can't have a Quorn tartlet - just drink your blood and be quiet!'

Spinach Dating.

Broccoli reading: 'Coping with Anthropomorphism'.

The vegan hunter

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

'... And I now insert the brai ... Egor, this is a cauliflower.'

"And your tofu, would you like food with that?"

Rob and Maria dated for months, until the day he realized she was made entirely out of soy.

"I eat green but I don't vote green."

Vegetarian restaurant: 'Two vegetarians please.'

Too Much SOY

"As a vegan vampire I suck but I don't swallow."