Vegetable Virtuosos Gifts

'Grow you son of a bitch!'

Allotment

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

'Looks like Reginald wasn't kidding when he said he's going to start urban farming on the roof...'

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

"I can't make it out - on the packet it said radishes."

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

Veggie Hall of Fame.

'What did I say about finishing your vegetables, Billy?'

'Who says you're not genetically manipulated?'

Rap-scallions

Onion Tears

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

Avocado Timeline

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

'He's all eyes!'

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

'Ooh girl, he may look like a potato, but he moves like a yam!'

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

'Carrot salad, carrot casserole, carrot juice, carrot cake - I want steak!'

"It helps if you think of it as a turkey."

'This pea is the first vegetable that I've ever grown so I would like to have it stuffed and mounted.'