Organic Vegetable Virtuoso Gifts

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

Allotment

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

Queen of Quinoa

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

'Looks like Reginald wasn't kidding when he said he's going to start urban farming on the roof...'

Give quiche a chance!

Frank & Ernie's Carrot, Beet, Potato Farm. Lunch break's over --- Shall we return to our roots?

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

"I can't make it out - on the packet it said radishes."

'What did I say about finishing your vegetables, Billy?'

What are we doing today? Installing raised beds. Then we'll plant them for a couple who want organic vegetables. Brilliant, Dad. Tree's Tree Nursery. You take the hard work out of gardening. Right. And give it to me! Right again!

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

Onion Tears

'Who says you're not genetically manipulated?'

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

Rap-scallions

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

Avocado Timeline

'He's all eyes!'

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

Free Range Chickens

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

'Carrot salad, carrot casserole, carrot juice, carrot cake - I want steak!'

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

'Vegetable proteins sure have caught on. I have to go over to Canyon Gulch and round up a herd of soybeans.'

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

'This pea is the first vegetable that I've ever grown so I would like to have it stuffed and mounted.'

"It helps if you think of it as a turkey."