Fruit And Veg Virtuoso Gifts

'Manure, you say? We always put custard on our rhubarb!'

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Allotment

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

A corner market is taken over by suburban sprawl.

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

"Oh, no - not another farmer's market!"

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

Berries, Roots, Tubers, Stems, Leaves.

Onion Tears

Rap-scallions

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

Avocado Timeline

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

Grocery Shopping

"I have to be honest: the job you're applying for is a real no-brainer. Are you sure you're OK with that?"

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

'Carrot salad, carrot casserole, carrot juice, carrot cake - I want steak!'

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

Man on Stilts in a Market

"But for an update in GM products in farming we have a spokescarrot."

Fresh picked baseballs.

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

'If you want produce grown on the farm down the road you'll have to go to Kuala Lumpur.'

'This pea is the first vegetable that I've ever grown so I would like to have it stuffed and mounted.'