Vegetarian Virtuoso Gifts

'The only problem being a Beefeater is that I'm a vegetarian.'

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

Allotment

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Queen of Quinoa

Give quiche a chance!

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

Frank & Ernie's Carrot, Beet, Potato Farm. Lunch break's over --- Shall we return to our roots?

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

Veggie Hall of Fame.

Onion Tears

Rap-scallions

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

Avocado Timeline

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

"Hey, this is just a bun!" "Help yourself to the mustard."

'Vegetable proteins sure have caught on. I have to go over to Canyon Gulch and round up a herd of soybeans.'

Free salad bar.

'Carrot salad, carrot casserole, carrot juice, carrot cake - I want steak!'

A sheep ordering in a restaurant - the sole item on the menu is grass.

The Rabbit Meeting.