Vegetarian Virtuoso T-Shirts

'The only problem being a Beefeater is that I'm a vegetarian.'

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

Allotment

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

Queen of Quinoa

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

Give quiche a chance!

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

Veggie Hall of Fame.

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

Onion Tears

Rap-scallions

Avocado Timeline

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

Free salad bar.

'Vegetable proteins sure have caught on. I have to go over to Canyon Gulch and round up a herd of soybeans.'

"Hey, this is just a bun!" "Help yourself to the mustard."

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

The Rabbit Meeting.

'Carrot salad, carrot casserole, carrot juice, carrot cake - I want steak!'

A sheep ordering in a restaurant - the sole item on the menu is grass.

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

Two vegetarians please.

At home with the leeches: 'No, you can't have a Quorn tartlet - just drink your blood and be quiet!'