Organic Vegetable Virtuoso T-Shirts

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

Allotment

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

Queen of Quinoa

'Looks like Reginald wasn't kidding when he said he's going to start urban farming on the roof...'

Give quiche a chance!

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

"I can't make it out - on the packet it said radishes."

'What did I say about finishing your vegetables, Billy?'

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

Onion Tears

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

Rap-scallions

'Who says you're not genetically manipulated?'

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

Avocado Timeline

'He's all eyes!'

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

Free Range Chickens

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

'Vegetable proteins sure have caught on. I have to go over to Canyon Gulch and round up a herd of soybeans.'

'Carrot salad, carrot casserole, carrot juice, carrot cake - I want steak!'

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

'This pea is the first vegetable that I've ever grown so I would like to have it stuffed and mounted.'

"It helps if you think of it as a turkey."

Your life is in great danger...