Organic Vegetable Advocate Gifts

What are we doing today? Installing raised beds. Then we'll plant them for a couple who want organic vegetables. Brilliant, Dad. Tree's Tree Nursery. You take the hard work out of gardening. Right. And give it to me! Right again!

Politically Correct Snowperson

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"...and that growl has turned many a hunter into vegetarians!"

All Natural Nothing

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"Steamed vegetables."

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"Is there a vegan option?"

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

'Our health-care system - eat organically.'

'It's not what you think. It's not about our liberation.'

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'

'Be careful...It may not be organic.'

'Extinct? Good heavens no. I'm vegan for God's sake.'

'Is it organic?'

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

Heart Disease Menu

Frankenfish

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

"Come on, honey, try just one Goliath pea. It's organic, locally grown, and GMO free."

Which is the genetically modified corn?"

'Is it organic?'

'Can we move the beef jerky a smidge and display our organic cleanser?'

"Funny how we never seem to run out of vegetables."

'Fruits, vegetables, herbs, spices, nuts, berries, roots, tubers, stems, leaves.'

Fruit and Vegetables - protestors signs read 'Stop this brutality' and 'Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants'.