Veganwise Cracker Gifts

"Just dumb luck on your part....tomorrow the whole village is turning vegan."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Is the MSG local?"

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"I want to be street smart so I can be a road scholar."

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

"Getting drunk grilling lettuce just isn't the same."

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

How The Ice Age Began: 'OK, can we freeze it right there...'

"Now make sure your heat is high enough to sear your putrid meat quickly."

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

"Race you to the corner! Last one there is an expired egg substitute!"

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

Do Not Enter and No U Turns

Dale regretted going to the Vegan restaurant.

Zombie Pulse Eating Vegans.

C is for Cracker

A parrot business meeting

'The only vegan item on the menu is the menu itself.'

The only problem with your current diet is really deforestation, and I'm afraid I'm unable to help...

"I am still vegan, I am just having a cheat day."

The early days of tofurkey.