Quirky Conundrum Cracker Gifts

Looking for the vaccine

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"I want to be street smart so I can be a road scholar."

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

'You reek of crackers.'

"Women like funny men, but you can't go on a date dressed like that!"

How The Ice Age Began: 'OK, can we freeze it right there...'

'If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it' actually a gene-modified flounder.'

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

"I'd hate to see the flea big enough to wear those!"

"I need a vacation. Everything is starting to smell like a bomb to me."

'Dear father for what I am about to receive I give thee thanks.'

'The beer's not cloudy, the glass is dirty.'

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

"Maybe I've been brainwashed, but at this point I do believe I actually want a goddamn cracker."

'If we had a bill of rights that got wronged, would it be right or wrong for a judge to right that wrong?'

Do Not Enter and No U Turns

A parrot business meeting

'You're insecure because your data is unsecured.'

'...On the other hand - the examined life sucks too.'

'I wonder if this needle will do....'

Polly want a cracker?

'Number 19 across, 5 letter word, starts with 't', ends with 'h'...' 'How about truth?'

"That's just the meds kicking in."

"Oh, you mellow with age alright: I even like the postman now..."