Quirky Conundrum Cracker T-Shirts

Looking for the vaccine

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"I want to be street smart so I can be a road scholar."

'The only part of my body that defies gravity is my age.'

Boy whistling at crackers.

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"Here's a request from someone who'd like to hear something in tune for a change. Oh, we have a comedian out there, I see."

'You reek of crackers.'

"Women like funny men, but you can't go on a date dressed like that!"

How The Ice Age Began: 'OK, can we freeze it right there...'

'If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it' actually a gene-modified flounder.'

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

'The beer's not cloudy, the glass is dirty.'

"I'd hate to see the flea big enough to wear those!"

"I need a vacation. Everything is starting to smell like a bomb to me."

'If we had a bill of rights that got wronged, would it be right or wrong for a judge to right that wrong?'

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

'Dear father for what I am about to receive I give thee thanks.'

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

"Maybe I've been brainwashed, but at this point I do believe I actually want a goddamn cracker."

Do Not Enter and No U Turns

This next song is also about food. I probably don't even need to say that anymore, do I.

A parrot business meeting

'You're insecure because your data is unsecured.'

'...On the other hand - the examined life sucks too.'

Polly want a cracker?

'Number 19 across, 5 letter word, starts with 't', ends with 'h'...' 'How about truth?'

'I wonder if this needle will do....'

'Polly had a cracker.'

"Oh, you mellow with age alright: I even like the postman now..."