Conundrum Cracker T-Shirts

Do Not Enter and No U Turns

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"I want to be street smart so I can be a road scholar."

'The only part of my body that defies gravity is my age.'

Boy whistling at crackers.

How The Ice Age Began: 'OK, can we freeze it right there...'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

Hopkin's for Clinic the Dyslexic

'Do you practice everyday or are you always this annoying?'

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

'If we had a bill of rights that got wronged, would it be right or wrong for a judge to right that wrong?'

"Fortunately, Mr. O'Brien, a sucker's attorney is born every half a minute."

A parrot business meeting

'Not to worry, I've handled hundreds of cases like this and the way I see it, I'm bound to win one sooner or later.'

'...On the other hand - the examined life sucks too.'

Polly want a cracker?

'I wonder if this needle will do....'

'Number 19 across, 5 letter word, starts with 't', ends with 'h'...' 'How about truth?'

Looking for the vaccine

'Polly had a cracker.'

"Oh, you mellow with age alright: I even like the postman now..."

Dog Quiz

"And another thing. When they start telling you 'You've still got it,' you don't."

'The attorney will see you just as soon as you put this neck-brace on.'

'They agreed to settle out of court.'

'I don't care what everyone else is doing, Mr. Wilson, in my courtroom we don't use pepper spray.'

Football anagram: Dead muffin (Answer: Damien Duff.)

'Now class, let's not condemn the private practitioner who first saw this case and failed to make an obvious diagnosis."

'There's really no need for confusion with this Medicare stuff. Page 95, section 33, paragraph L in the instructions quite clearly says ... '

"Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law."

A third of the buck stops here.