Veganwise Cracker Pillows

"Just dumb luck on your part....tomorrow the whole village is turning vegan."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Is the MSG local?"

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"I want to be street smart so I can be a road scholar."

'The only part of my body that defies gravity is my age.'

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

Boy whistling at crackers.

"Getting drunk grilling lettuce just isn't the same."

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

How The Ice Age Began: 'OK, can we freeze it right there...'

"Now make sure your heat is high enough to sear your putrid meat quickly."

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

"Race you to the corner! Last one there is an expired egg substitute!"

Do Not Enter and No U Turns

Dale regretted going to the Vegan restaurant.

"I am still vegan, I am just having a cheat day."

A parrot business meeting

'I need an officer to respond to a report of a stolen donut truck.'

'The only vegan item on the menu is the menu itself.'

The early days of tofurkey.

Cracker nice, but Polly want more.

Zombie Pulse Eating Vegans.

The only problem with your current diet is really deforestation, and I'm afraid I'm unable to help...