Sustainable Snacker Pillows

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

"Is the MSG local?"

Fish and Chips - "Could you please blow into this bag for me, Sir?"

Sustainable Fish and Chips.

'It not only comes in a reusable container but the product itself is made entirely from recycled materials.'

'I just love eating organic food.'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"The bagels are better in New York."

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.

Olive Oil

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

'Mom can I have another apple?'

The Rabbit Meeting.

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

"It's dangerous to eat pangolins, but..."

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

"It's something I made myself - chocolate covered veggies."

"Looks like someone forget her lunch today."

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

'Bless this food, and protect us from the pesticides and additives therein.'

"You'll never lose weight if you don't stop nibbling at your desk."

"We grind our own catnip."

"I recommend the pimento loaf with pickle. It's bursting with umami."

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Sandwich? The mackerel mocha sounds lovely. What's in it? The usual. Chocolate. Soy milk. Mackerel. Yes, but is the mackerel farm-raised or from the sea? Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? Indian? Arctic? Antarctic? I'm not sure. Oh. Ok ... well what's the mackerel's mercury content? Negligible, I'm sure. Ok. Was it exposed to any chlorine? Or copper sulphate? Or malathion? Was it treated with kindness? Was it read stories and sung to before bedtime? Yes. Never mind, it s

The early days of tofurkey.

"I can't see them replacing fish and chips."

The only problem with your current diet is really deforestation, and I'm afraid I'm unable to help...

"How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?"