Nature Snacker Pillows

"Man, I love roughing it out here... but this trail mix is making my fingers sticky!"

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

"Is the MSG local?"

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"The bagels are better in New York."

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

"I'm learning to appreciate the simple things in life."

Sinking Sand

'Don't take it personally... he doesn't know I'm here either.'

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

"We grind our own catnip."

"So here we are...the great outdoors!"

"I recommend the pimento loaf with pickle. It's bursting with umami."

"I don't understand it - no matter how much I drink coffee, play on my phone, refresh my e-mail, look up things online, go to the kitchen for snacks, message my friends, scroll through Twitter, and play with the cats, I still can't get any writing done."

Large man uses 'Fat Nav' to lead him to large Christmas pudding.

'Get the kind with the little marshmallows.'

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

We're never going to lose weight if we don't get rid of the fridge light.

Fish and Chips - "Could you please blow into this bag for me, Sir?"

Foolish Sid turns to look, and is immediately tackled and devoured by the duck.

'I just love eating organic food.'

Supermarket Aisles.

"I'm fairly sure you can't count jaffa cakes as one of your five a day."

"These are the best seats. Remember when they used to put us next to the bus stop?"

"Since it's only 10am, I'll have coffee, strawberry, and maple in a waffle cone."

When Mrs Murray said you should vary your diet I don't think she meant to just try all 16 flavours of POT NOODLES.

'You know, hors d'oeuvres are completely lost on your side of the family.'

'Every crowd has a silver lining!'

'Not eucalyptus leaves again!'

Sometimes, instead of one big meal, I prefer tapas.

American 'Idle'.

"Dad, what is a meal?"