Vegan Vibe Pillows

'I'm actually a soy milky way.'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"States of tofu"

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"You had me at alternative milk."

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

'Smile and say: tofu-based dairy substitute.'

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

Dale regretted going to the Vegan restaurant.

"Here are all of my dependents."

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense.'

"I'm thinking of switching to an all vegan diet...based on carrots...mainly carrots..."

Greta Thunberg wins German TV prize...

"It's a wonderful story - starts with the murder of a butcher."

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

"There are no animal products in our dishes, but since the meals are prepared by animals, you may find some stray hairs."

'That IS the chef's surprise, sir -- the pork chops are really tofu.'

"Can we be seated under a vegan painting?"

Fruits and vegetables

"Suddenly the idea of becoming a vegetarian sounds very romantic."

"Alrighty, we've got three Tofu Pad Thais, four Green Curry Lunch Specials, side of Veggie Dumplings, and three Summer Rolls with Peanut Dipping Sauce."

Vegan Insomnia

"I'm looling for ground beef that's organic, non-GMO, and doesn't contain meat."

Tofu: Firm, Soft, Amusingly Jiggly

Woolly tofu.

Vine-Gripened Tomatoes

"Here you are - Two house martinis, humanely poured!"

'The flowers look good.'

What to serve to meet most dietary restrictions

"Twice a week I eat nothing but fruit."

Viking takes off his horned helmet and reveals that he actually has horns.

"Today a protest at the White House..."

"I'm worried that not everyone knows I'm a vegan!"