Vegan Society Jester Gifts

"Remember what happens in vegans stays in vegans."

"We're following Carrot Top."

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"Just how long has there been a maraschino cherry at the top of the organizational chart?"

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

'I want a win-win situation where both wins are ours.'

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"Jane is sales, Fred is accounting, and Johnny's song and dance."

'Any questions?'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

When Managers have a Four Seasons pizza.

"I don't like these sales figures. Prepare them in another color and font and resubmit them."

'All those in favour of my new proposal say aye. Those against, also say aye.'

"Look who I got a birthday card from!!"

"Very good Carter, but when you said you wanted to show us your Powerpoint we assumed you meant presentation!"

'Make sport of the Queen.'

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

"We're bears you fool, we don't need agendas!"

"We have a clear work/life policy. . . If you have a life, you get more work."

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

'From left to right: witchfinder general, jester jocular and spouse peculiar.'

Never poke fun.

'You're the king now. It's time to put the past behind you.'

'I hate these commerical breaks!'