Vaudeville Spectator Gifts

Goldilocks and the Three Stooges

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

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I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"I AM at my usual position."

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

Beer Order

'Hey, hey, hey!'

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

Moon

A convenient attack of swine flu...

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

Bob liked getting involved - but not actively involved.

'I see the critics say I need a new partner.'

"You can stop any time, sir. I've already told you I'm not wearing a body camera!"

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

"Still judging people on stuff you could never do?"

Mr. Macho at the game... and after the game is over.

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

Football drummer

Hi love...one less for tea tonight

'I only come to the game for the half time entertainment and snack bar privileges.'

Back in the football stadium - without face masks and social distancing!

'I see the SAGA talent scouts are here.'

"I'm against pain killers for players, but I'm for them for supporters."

"Sorry about that. Just following the serving suggestion."

Foam finger gets stuck up a foam nose.

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,