Vaudeville Fan Gifts

"You can stop any time, sir. I've already told you I'm not wearing a body camera!"

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

The Gladiator.

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

Moon

Halloweek: Eating candy seven days straight.

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.

'Sheep striptease'.

Decaying corpse

'I believe there's an unseen hand behind everything we do.'

'I see the critics say I need a new partner.'

Job Interview with the Vampire.

"Phew! - You've got bat breath."

Peter Lorre caricature

'Another Scotch?'

W.C.Fields

". . . But, hey, man, I just want to say this in all sincerity, man, that you are the greatest, man, you the el numero uno cat in my book, man you. . ."

I told you Norman Bates and Oedipus would have a lot to talk about.

"It's suppose to be tomato juice! That's how you make a Bloody Mary!"

"Hello, my Baby! Hello, my Sweetie! Hello, my Ragtime Gal..."

"Sorry about that. Just following the serving suggestion."

News of the Day - History, reviewed and corrected by the operatta - 'Come on! Two Chilperies and Agamemnon!

"Never think outside the box!"

Walter The Sea Monster

Halloween Bummer: Your Mom makes you wear a sweater over your costume.

Vampire Humor

Cape costume

"Blood bank robbery...you?"

Dracula reading fang shui.

'Your puppet is suing you for harassment.'

'What do you call a vampire that you can dip into your tea?...Count Dunkula!'

'Your test results have come in and, as we feared, you're dead.'

'Can you assure my son that you only use vegetarian sausages?'