Retro Vaudeville Fan Gifts

Moon

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Meet Me Outside St. Louis

Before the Internet

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

Drive in movies.

'No Bonanza, no Gunsmoke, no Led Zeppelin... what a sad state of affairs this is! I'm glad I'm not in your generation...'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.

'I see the critics say I need a new partner.'

"You can stop any time, sir. I've already told you I'm not wearing a body camera!"

"Sorry about that. Just following the serving suggestion."

'What did your grandmother and I do before we had 600 channels? Go ask your 12 aunts and uncles.'

"Honey, check it out! It’s Thelma and Louise."

"...but after they hired Vanna White instead of me things really got interesting."

". . . But, hey, man, I just want to say this in all sincerity, man, that you are the greatest, man, you the el numero uno cat in my book, man you. . ."

"Hello, my Baby! Hello, my Sweetie! Hello, my Ragtime Gal..."

'Morcambe and Wise.'

Walter The Sea Monster

'What do you mean you're not drunk? That's the calculator!'

The elderly found the new remote control much easier to use.

'All you do is stare at the TV. When I was a kid we have to be content with staring at the radio.'