Vintage Vaudevillian Gifts

Sleeping dummy.

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

Moon

"Play on."

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

"You can stop any time, sir. I've already told you I'm not wearing a body camera!"

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

Older and wiser

'We've been picking up your radio broadcasts- You must be Fibber McGee and Molly'

". . . But, hey, man, I just want to say this in all sincerity, man, that you are the greatest, man, you the el numero uno cat in my book, man you. . ."

Freddy Starr died here.

"Hello, my Baby! Hello, my Sweetie! Hello, my Ragtime Gal..."

Fancy a twinkle before supper?

"Sorry about that. Just following the serving suggestion."

W.C.Fields

Walter The Sea Monster

Peep show

The Moe Howard Installation

Ye Haul.

"Are they nuts? I didn't survive 8-tracks, cassettes, CDs, iPods and downloads just to go back to records!"

Recycling centre with a bin for Jim Davidson videos.

"The Professor is ready for ANOTHER volunteer from the audience."

"Well if Henry had behaved like that in the 40's! Really"

"You may be more familiar with her maiden name, Kelly, Grace Kelly."

"I'm your hip replacement."

Stag Dance in Barracks of Army of Potomac

Ventriloquist with faeces on his hands.

"We call ourselves the 3 Geniuses. Unfortunately, we never quite caught on."

Moe-hawk.

"I like Al Gore just fine – if only he weren't such a constant reminder that, for me, vaudeville is dead."

Pythagoras Revisited

"Of course I didn't buy it to appreciate it --I bought it for it to appreciate."

junk bought - antiques sold.

Pantomime Horse Eating.