Retro Vaudeville Fan Pillows

Moon

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Meet Me Outside St. Louis

Before the Internet

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

'Hey...remember T.V.?

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

Drive in movies.

'No Bonanza, no Gunsmoke, no Led Zeppelin... what a sad state of affairs this is! I'm glad I'm not in your generation...'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

Shirley Temple...The later years.. - 'Animal crackers in my poop...'

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.

'I see the critics say I need a new partner.'

'Business was slow, slower than a fat tortoise with a limp. The phone hadn't rung for so long I thought it must be out of order. The new competition was good, very good. Who was this 'Google' guy?'

"You can stop any time, sir. I've already told you I'm not wearing a body camera!"

DVD Video Rental. I rented "Shampoo" and "Private Benjamin". Neat .. A couple of olden Goldies.

When I was a kid watching "Perry Mason" on tv, I always knew that when I grew up I'd spend a lot of time in courtroom. The only part I had wrong was that I always assumed I would be the defendant. ! !

"Sorry about that. Just following the serving suggestion."

Waiter, what's this photograph of Jeff Goldblum doing in my soup? He starred in the remake of "The Fly." Personally, I prefer Al (David) Hedison in the original.

". . . But, hey, man, I just want to say this in all sincerity, man, that you are the greatest, man, you the el numero uno cat in my book, man you. . ."

"Honey, check it out! It’s Thelma and Louise."

'What did your grandmother and I do before we had 600 channels? Go ask your 12 aunts and uncles.'

"Hello, my Baby! Hello, my Sweetie! Hello, my Ragtime Gal..."

"...but after they hired Vanna White instead of me things really got interesting."

'Sir Steve Austin is here to see you.'

W.C.Fields

'Morcambe and Wise.'

Walter The Sea Monster

The elderly found the new remote control much easier to use.

Norman Fell

The Moe Howard Installation

Phil Silvers: Spot the Difference

'All you do is stare at the TV. When I was a kid we have to be content with staring at the radio.'